And The Best Comedy Actress and Glam Awards Go To...

Now that I am officially without work, I am contemplating on career-swing, that of a stand-up comedienne. I goof around close friends and relatives and I am able to manage LOLs from them with muh stories. I may have a good sense of humor and the credit goes to my mother,Cor.

Mamang suffered from stroke in 1998 which brought about physical and neurologic adverse effects in her. She still has intact comprehension however she sometimes has difficulty finding the right words to express what she wants. Damn aphasia!

Mother Hen has maintenance medications for her condition. She barely gets affected with a high blood pressure reading and glucose level.What catches her worry and attention are these two integral ingredients of her existence:

• Make-up cosmetics
• Clothes

She cannot imagine breathing without make-up. She requires two applications per day. One ordinary time, I noticed she's sad, I asked her why. Her lipstick was pale. She wanted red. When she does her stationary bicycle exercises, a mirror is in one hand to scrutinize her eyebrows and hair. She has her own sets of kikay kit here at home. Her vanity is one for the books. She regularly dyes her hair. She hates to see zits on my face.She checks my "look" before I step out of the house.

Fr. Josel paid Mother an early morning surprise visit once.With no make-up and unkempt hair, our priest kiddingly chided her, "Eka pala masyadung malagu pag abak pa." Mamang was distressed for about 3 days . From then on, soon after brekkie, Mayet would apply blush-on and lipstick on her. This occurs every day. Even in those two times when she was hospitalized.

On Satuday evenings, she and Mayet would have  serious discussions as to what Mamang's outfit will be for the Sunday mass. Mayet will pick a number of items from the closet so Chicken may choose what she would like to wear. She was once overheard blurting that she has no new clothes anymore. It was an emergent case I had to call my sisters-in-law and Tita Bue to please send her some. Every time boxes abroad arrive, my mom gets giddily tickled with Johnson's baby powder, perfume, and of course clothes and cosmetic what-have-yous.

Mother Hen is  wheelchair-bound and requires assistance with daily tasks. Beyond that, she continues to be the funniest girl on this side of the universe.

Me: Ma, ninung pekamalagu kekayu reng kapatad mu?

Mamang: Syempre aku, saka sila baduy.(No offense meant,my Titas).

Dinner time with her paborito, hipon, on the table:

Ma: Isa pa...(she had 4 already).

Me: Ma, tama na..sobra na.

Ma: Sobra ba ang isa?

ASAP viewing- John Lloyd and Piolo on screen:

Ma: O ren, ren ring crush ku.

Bath times- dito madaming teleserye scenes with Madam Curasing.

Mayet: Madam, take a bath today.

Ma: (with an oh-so lonely face) Kakaligo ko lang(2 days past).Mawawala na ing buak ku.

I shall never forget that rainy day she was supposed to take a bath. She didn't want to."Please,please,eyu na ku pa didiluan." Oh mmm geeee! Were there tears!!!The ever loyal Mayet pitied her with matching eye drops as well, I had to call Koyang Mark coz I just couldn't stop laughing.

Her other "valid" excuses:

• Bawal maligo pag Lunes saka Friday.
• Meg-dry na ku balat keng kakadilu.

On Crush:

Me: Mang, mas maputi pa si Crush sa aten.

Mang:( thinking... )Bakla ya siguru.

Oucchhhhh!!!

Me: Ma,nakita ko car ni Crush.Pero sya di ko nakita.

Mang: (overheard her whispering to Mayet), Pota ene man bisang pakit i Crush kaya.

Mamang plastic.:)

"Kutnan me. Crush, atin na kang girlfriend?" ROFL.

When she sees Kadie and Mykee singing and dancing, "Mana la kakung graceful."

She tells our neighbors," Reng atlu kung anak lalaki,mangaganaka la." I say, "O aku?" She responds nonchalantly,"O sige,pati ika."

I may be mothering my Mamang now. I know,however, that even a lifetime of five will never equate or match the love and care Mother Hen has given me. She has personified in million and one ways the definition of unconditional love. What more could I ask for?

Happy Mother's Day, Chicken. And the Best Comedy Actress and Glam Awards go to.....(drum rolls) MAMANG!!!